My Story
For almost all my working life, I had been a very busy solo Family Physician, caring for a full range of patients for the totality of their lives. Although it had many stresses, my practice was extremely rewarding, affording me the opportunity and privilege to play such an essential role in the lives of my patients.
When Covid erupted in 2020, killing two members of my extended family, my fears for myself, my family and my patients became increasingly intolerable. At the same time as I was trying to deal with my personal anxiety, I still had to care for my patients, many of which were in tenuous health, in a calm and reassuring way, and within the setting of a global pandemic!
Like many other physicians, I felt that this was affecting my ability to practice, becoming burnt out, and very critical of myself “for not being able to handle it”. At one point, I decided that I had to do something to get help. After a few unproductive psychotherapy sessions, I came across a Mindful Self Compassion workshop advertised on the Internet and decided to give it a try.
Taking that course opened a gateway for me, and I have never looked back. I ended up taking a follow-up 8 ½ month course with weekly sessions, another 6 month course, then a 2 1/2 month course specifically focused on men’s issues.
The practice of MSC, as taught by its greatest proponent, Dr. Kristin Neff, is really a mixture of three components. The first is mindfulness, which is the ability to pay attention to our own experience, without judgement. In other words, when we are suffering, we are aware that we are suffering. To be mindful of our suffering is like being on a bridge over a raging river, instead of being in the river!
The second is self-kindness, which Dr. Neff describes as the ability to treat ourselves with the same kindness, care, and support, just as we would treat a good friend. We all just know how to be kind and compassionate; the only thing missing is including ourselves in our circle of kindness and compassion.
The third component, Common Humanity, is seeing our own vulnerabilities, imperfections, difficulties and personal failures as a completely human experience. After all, every single one of the 8 billion members of our planet has suffered, currently suffers and will suffer at different points in their lives. No one is truly alone in their suffering.
Gradually, through taking all these courses, I became far less critical and much kinder to myself. I became more able to see myself as fully human, more appreciative of what was out of my control, and more willing to devote my energies and attention to what was in my power to affect.
But that was not all. The practice of MSC was profoundly nourishing, opening up a capacity for growth, meaning and purpose that resulted in my changing the course of my career at the ripe old age of 69, becoming a psychotherapist and ultimately a registered MSC Teacher.
I believe that the practice of Mindful Self-Compassion has a revolutionary potential for increasing peacefulness in all individuals, their families, communities and ultimately the world. If you would like any further information on how this course will help you, you can contact me at drdukeszoffice@gmail.com or (905)-830-4497.
